Burnout doesn’t just come from what people say or the tone they use. It also comes from what we think those words mean.

Every day, we add our own interpretation on top of what we hear. That interpretation is shaped by our stress level, our fears, and our past experiences. And when we’re burned out, our minds are more likely to jump to the worst outcome. This is called catastrophizing, a habit of worst‑case thinking that is closely tied to fear and anxiety^[1][2][3].

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How we frame a message

Think of a frame like the lens of a camera. Two people can hear the same sentence and still walk away with very different pictures.

A manager says, “Let’s review this together.”

• Someone who feels steady may hear teamwork, even look forward to the discussion.
• Someone who is exhausted and weighed down by past negative experiences may hear, “You messed this up,” and dread the meeting.

Same words. Same tone. Different meaning, because each person looked through a different lens. This is framing at work. Our mind supplies the story, and that story shapes how heavy or light a moment feels.

Here’s how that shows up outside of work. One afternoon, my daughter and I stood at the window looking at the same tree outside. I noticed a broken branch left by a storm; she pointed out the fresh green tips. Same tree, different focus. Our attention shaped the story each of us told. That’s framing.

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Why burnout makes frames harsher

Burnout heightens our threat radar. The more tired and stressed we are, the more likely we are to assume negative intent. That doesn’t mean we’re “too sensitive.” It means our nervous system is on guard, scanning for danger signals.

This is why even neutral words can feel sharp when we’re stretched thin. A small comment can echo loudly, draining what little energy we have left.

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The power of reframing

Reframing is the skill of asking: What else could this mean? Instead of reacting to the first, most negative story, we pause and try another lens.

Examples

• Initial frame: “She cut me off in the meeting. She doesn’t respect me.”
  Reframe: “She may be under pressure to finish quickly.”
• Initial frame: “My boss emailed at 10 PM. He expects me to be on call all night.”
  Reframe: “He may just be clearing his inbox. I don’t have to answer until tomorrow.”
• Initial frame: “He didn’t say thank you. He must not value my work.”
  Reframe: “He’s distracted. His silence isn’t a measure of my worth.”

Reframing doesn’t excuse poor behavior, but it lightens our load. It gives us options beyond taking every message as an attack. It’s also easier when we don’t take things personally: what someone says tells you about their state of mind, not your value.

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Practical grounding

• Pause before reacting. Ask, Is there another possible meaning here?
• Offer one kinder explanation. Even if it’s only a guess, it can soften your response.
• Ask for clarity. If you can, try: “Can you tell me more about what you meant?”
• Reframe your self‑talk. When you catch “I failed,” try, “I learned something I can do differently next time.”

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Closing thought

Burnout makes us expect the worst. Reframing doesn’t erase stress, but it helps us avoid carrying extra weight we don’t need.

We may not control what others say—or how they say it—but we can choose the meaning we attach. That choice can turn a hard edge into something gentler. It can also remind us that not everything is aimed at us.

When we pick a new frame, we give ourselves room to breathe.

Next up: Listening Isn’t Hearing — Why Presence Matters

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References

1. Meg Jay, PhD — Harvard Business Review, “What to Do When Your Mind (Always) Dwells on the Worst‑Case Scenario” (Sep 15, 2020). Key idea: catastrophizing is a reaction to uncertainty that overestimates the likelihood or impact of our worst fears. Link: https://hbr.org/2020/09/what-to-do-when-your-mind-always-dwells-on-the-worst-case-scenario
2. Cleveland Clinic — “What Is Catastrophizing? How To Stop” (Nov 15, 2024; updated resource). Defines catastrophizing as worst‑case thinking, tied to worry/anxiety; recommends reframing and CBT. Link: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/catastrophizing
3. Medical News Today — “How to stop catastrophizing” (reviewed Nov 30, 2023). Notes the strong link between anxiety and catastrophizing; offers practical reframing steps. Link: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320844
4. Washington Post Wellness, “My sister catastrophizes even simple problems. How can I help her?” (Jun 8, 2025). Frames catastrophizing as anxious thinking and offers strategies to interrupt the fear spiral. Link: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2025/06/08/catastrophizing-anxiety-manage-strategies/